Adults Need Play Dates, Too.

Remember that time in your childhood where the days were filled with countless hours of sunshine and play. Your mom might have yelled at you to “go outside” or “play with your siblings.” Maybe your dad asked you if you wanted to “throw the ball around or practice your batting stance.” Maybe your summers were filled with days of swimming in the neighbor’s pools and the nights were specifically reserved for bonfires filled with s’mores and you’d go to bed smelling like the warm glow of burnt wood and the linger of bug spray still filled your little nose. Maybe, your childhood experiences were different from mine but these memories of being youthful with little responsibilities but to get outside and play seem to be quite common memories for a handful of us.  

Recently, I haven’t been doing much other than trying to balance the life of a senior in college which consists of classes, clocking in for work, the constant worry of what the future will hold after graduation, and maybe the occasional hours of sleep I get if I’m lucky. You may be asking yourself  “where is your social life, or room for activities?” Don’t worry, I too, have that same question.

I can’t help but feel slightly envious of the vast social media posts I see floating around on my timeline of people my age who seem to be having the times of their lives: hanging out with friends, going swimming, on vacations, blah blah blah, but I’m stuck in what seems like a never-ending circle of responsibilities I can’t get away from.

The feeling of wanting to drop every and all responsibility I have to enjoy my summer with my friends and not be tied down by schoolwork and job duties seem to be growing each day. But I should be beyond grateful for the education I am receiving and the income I receive from having multiple jobs, right? Then why do I feel the need to ditch all my responsibilities? It was not until recently that a lightbulb in my crammed mind turned on – I haven’t allowed myself the slightest bit of time to play. We all know that the importance of play for children is extremely beneficial for them, but how about the importance of play for adults?

With all the hustle and bustle of everyday life it seems nearly impossible to set time away to do something like hang out with friends (even if it’s a Zoom date) or maybe even just go out to dinner, but yet I can easily say “yes” to another extra credit opportunity. Society has made me and many others I know feel like play is unproductive and a guilty pleasure that is not needed for adults. WRONG.

We adults and even young adults may not be playing on the monkey bars and building up our motor skills during play but that doesn’t mean we should dismiss a wine night with the girls or a movie night with the guys because it is “unproductive.” Not until late, I would say “no” to all these opportunities to be able to engage in safe social activities because I felt too guilty by leaving my other responsibilities in the dust.

We as adults should not feel guilty for taking the time to play. Just because we don’t get an assigned recess anymore doesn’t mean we can’t take time away from our busy lives to make one.

By finally saying “yes” to dinner with my friends, I noticed a dramatic change in my mood. I started to feel more grounded, I was able to focus more on my schoolwork, my stress and anxiety levels dropped dramatically, and seeing my friends’ smiles was an automatic mood booster! When the feeling of guilt by saying “yes” was no longer there, it helped me in the long run with both my schoolwork and my job responsibilities.

As adults we need to accept that it’s okay to say “yes,” it’s okay to take a couple hours out of our well deserved Saturday to go shopping with girlfriends, have a game night, make homemade pizza, or maybe even swim in the neighbor’s pool. Because I think sharing laughs with friends is more beneficial than getting 2 points added to my lowest test grade.

So next time your friends ask if you want to come, say “yes,” not only for you, but for your brain too!

Play hard. Work less.

Best,

Maggie Paulus

NorthShoreCenter LLC