Living with Parents who Tested Positive – The Harsh Reality.
Being a young college girl, COVID-19 felt like some out of the universe virus that was not capable of touching my health and young immune system. Yes, watching the news and looking at my Facebook page everything was and still is COVID-19 related. The number of positive cases and deaths has only risen, yet I still feel like this out of touch virus can’t possibly affect me because I personally don’t know anyone who has it. Well, that was before my parent’s tested positive.
I got sent home from my university that is four hours away from my hometown back in March to finish the semester in the safety of my home. Luckily for me, I was blessed to be greeted with open arms and a warm and safe household to come home to, I know that was not the case for many others. March, April, and May all dragged on and soon school started to wrap up online, but it was clear that the one thing not wrapping up was this pandemic.
The months of June and July were filled with drive-thru ice cream runs, walks with the dog by the lake, bonfires, and maybe an occasional game of PIG, that somehow my dad still finds a way to beat me even at his “old” age, on our driveway basketball hoop. Who did I share these fine moments with you may ask? My parents.
Until you move away from home, you truly never know how much you’ll miss your parents or how much a mother’s hug can fix or a motivational talk with dad can uplift one’s soul. I enjoy being home for the summers because I am able to squeeze in the most amount of family time within those three months before heading back to college.
Mid-July my dad started to have a running nose and an occasional cough, him being the man that he is blamed his symptoms on “allergies” or the “occasional summer cold,” nothing out of the ordinary, besides that it didn’t seem to go away or even get better.
My dad normally leaves for work so early that I don’t think the sun is even pondering the thought of rising yet, so when I woke up to hear my dad in the kitchen on a weekday I knew something unusual was up. That was the day my dad told me he tested positive and two days later, my mom tested positive, as well. All my life my parents have always been the ones taking care of me, through the colds, fevers, broken bones, etc. but what happens when it’s the kids’ turn to take care of them?
Being that this is a very contagious virus how am I able to help? Should I move out? Do I need to take them to the hospital? What If I test positive next? What if I have to witness this virus kill my parents? As a young adult let me tell you these thoughts were not fun to cope with, but they were frankly my new reality and my biggest fear.
For two weeks I watched my dad go from cutting the lawn, flipping burgers and taking our beloved dog on walks, to taking 6-8 hour naps where I was left peeking into the bedroom making sure his chest was still rising. Or having to watch him sit down out of pure exhaustion after taking a shower because that was the only daily activity he could handle. Or watching my mom go from cooking every dinner to not eating more than a few crackers every other day because she can’t taste.
Watching your parents go through this and not knowing the end result creates a fear I wouldn’t wish on anybody, but worst of all I couldn’t help them battle this. I’ve never known a time in my life where I wasn’t allowed to hug my parents. I had to keep my distance, wear masks in the comfort of my own home, eat from different plates and pans, the list goes on.
Fortunately, my parents were the lucky ones. They beat COVID-19 and are back to their normal selves, but I know many others can’t say the same. I could go on about how horrible this experience was but somehow I find myself so grateful that my parents turned out to be okay that It’s hard to express anything but gratitude.
While writing this blog, I was stuck on what advice/coping mechanisms to give to our readers on how to deal with living with parents who tested positive and the simple answer to that is, there isn’t just one answer and there isn’t a right answer. With that being said, I’ll share my top 3:
Invest in a safe space: My room was my safe haven. A place where only I can enter. A place to read, reflect, and relax. Take in what was happening. Don’t feel bad in investing in a really comfy blanket that makes you feel safe or a motivational saying to hang up on your wall. Create a safe place that can also be your happy place.
WRITE: I know, I know, not everyone likes writing as much as me. But when your mind is filled with so many thoughts, breath, and write. Let your pencil do the talking while your lips stay closed. Don’t write for a grade or for anyone other than yourself. Write your thoughts, whatever you are thinking at that moment, write it. Then when you are done, close the laptop or throw away the paper and let it be. Those thoughts have filled the paper and now left your head with a whole lot more free space than before.
Hug your loved ones: There’s not much I need to elaborate on this one besides you never know when your last hug will be.
COVID-19 you are one hell of a virus, but you’ve changed my views. No one is invincible to this virus, as much as we would like to think we are. I now have a new found love for my health and my family’s health. I engraved in my brain that without my health or the health of others I am living a life of meaningless habits. Your health is your wealth and in a blink of an eye, this virus can come knocking on your’s or your loved one’s doors, so please don’t take it for granted.
Stay healthy, Stay safe.
Best,
Maggie Paulus
NorthShoreCenter LLC